


TSM Crackfics

by skellylicious



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A collection of shitpost stories, Crack, How far we have fallen, I was only going to put my serious fics here, I'm forced to move here because of Tumblr, M/M, Not Serious, Other, Part of the TSM Universe, Starring Voidster, not canon, oh yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 14:18:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16955601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skellylicious/pseuds/skellylicious
Summary: A collection of shitpost stories(?) that I'm posting here before The Great Tumblr Purge of 2018. I apologize in advance to anyone who reads this.





	1. Chapter 1

You probably shouldn’t read this. Blame [@critterbutt](https://tmblr.co/my7cyomfCYDmn4ipcY-KTQg) she wanted this.

  
His dick was like the mast of a ship, erect and proud, fighting the weight of leather pants that were his sails. 

 

Even as you watched, the seams of the fabric begin to tear, a ripping sound piercing the air as you stared in horror at his massive, emerging shaft. 

 

The head of his man meat emerged, veiny and engorged, a blunt-headed serpent with only one eye and a thirst for human pussy.

 

You screamed but your cries fell upon deaf ears; indeed he had no ears, and he merely grinned toothily at your distress, one large yaoi hand reaching downward to fully remove his monstrous cock from the shreds of his expensive leather pants.

 

He roared, and a jet of cum sprayed from his swinging donger, smearing against the walls like sparkly violet blood. When he crouched on all fours, it dragged along the floor like a hideous, malformed tail.

 

 **[IT HAS A NAME]**  he rumbled when he saw you staring at his manhood.  **[I call it the purple-helmeted yogurt slinger, but you can call it…YOUR GRAVE.]**

“My pussy can’t handle such a terrifyingly large penis,” you wept futilely, clutching at your hair in horror. “Won’t somebody save me?!”

 

“Be quiet,” said G. “I’m trying to do paperwork." 


	2. Voidster Writes a Fanfic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This has actually been made into a comic by the talented HibernalBeast! (I don't know why, but god bless her, lmao)
> 
> https://twitter.com/Carniara81/status/1072621225720070150

“I’m a closet furry,” you whispered, ashamed.  
  


 **[BOI WHTA U SAY]** VOIDSTER SHOUTED, BURSTING THRU THE STONE WALL.  
  


“VOIDSTER STOP RUINING MY SECRET FETISH CHURCH”  
  


**[You never pay attention to me anymore]**   
  


“I fap to skeleton porn. His name is Sans and I-”  
  


“Stop.” He put a hand to his face. “I don’t want to hear any more. There’s only one remedy for this, and that is my gigantic lich cock.”  
  


“But I didn’t even finish my-”  
  


“Shhhhht. Stop talking, or I’ll lose my erection.”

 

_***Voidster furiously tapped away at the keyboard, glancing over his shoulder to see the lich still engrossed in his paperwork. How dull. Smirking to himself, he continued his fanfiction.***_

 

“You’re not as good-looking as my husband, Voidster, but I suppose you will do,” the lich sneered, tangling a hand in your hair and pulling your head back. “Now open your mouth.”  
  


You winced as his harsh pulling brought tears to your eyes, but opened your mouth obediently, trying not to gag on his giant, magnificent, girthy, scalding, throbbing, shaft.

 

_***Voidster frowned. **[Is that too many adjectives? Eh, doesn’t matter.]** Shrugging, he went back to work.***_

 

“For your penance, you are going to give me a good- no- an AMAZING blowjob.” He thrust harshly against your mouth and you sputtered. You were not his amazing husband, Voidster, so how could you possibly compete with his skills? The answer was, you could not.  
  


“Are you sure these are the entirety of your sins my child?” he moaned, pressing against you.  
  


“NO, FATHER” you cried out, unable to contain yourself, “I ALSO TOOK THREE DICKS IN THE ASS AT ONCE.”  
  


Suddenly a wild Voidster. **[Wow ur a slut,]** he says disdainfully.  
  


“Voidster get the fuck outta my church,” G snarls.  
  


 **[YOUR CHURCH SUCKS]** Voidster returns, snarling. **[IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ANY NAKED STATUES.]**  
  


“CHURCHES DON’T HAVE NAKED STATUES, WTF KIND OF CHURCH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU IDIOT”  
  


 **[I had a church once,]** he says pensively.  
  


“Lying is a sin,” G says with a smirk.  
  


**[I’m not lying but if u want u can punish me, bby]**   
  


“Get in the fuckin line, everyone wants to bang me,” the lich replies, rolling his eyes. There is a line of at least 20 people out the front door of the church, it’s true.  
  


 **[I can bang them for u]** says Voidster, shrugging.  
  


“Ye I guess, go for it.”  
  


The line suddenly disappears as people flee in every direction.  
  


 **[HEY COME BACK YOU FUCKS. I’M JUST AS GOOD AT SEX AS HE IS!]** Voidster roars, trying to grab the nearest fleeing sinner.  
  


“BUT YOUR DICK IS 14 INCHES LONG WHICH IS BOTH UNREALISTIC AND PAINFUL SOUNDING!” shouts the villager, narrowly escaping.  
  


 **[IT’S NOT UNREALISTIC IF I’M NINE FEET TALL!]** Voidster retorts, snarling.  
  


“Dude, you’re nine feet tall now?” G is slightly surprised that the author has yet again changed his husband’s height, and also a little annoyed.


	3. Sanster Erotica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Voidster writes some Sanster erotica.

Sans was being annoying, per usual. So I said something witty and highly intelligent, and then Sans rebutted with one of his neanderthalic puns that he seems to think are so amusing. I reminded him what a disappointing creation he is, and he then evinced emotion by furrowing his brow and hurling a bad insult at me. I laughed, and then I took hold of his soul, as he is so fond of doing to others, and I slammed his pathetic body down onto the floor.  
  


He was struggling pathetically, as he is wont to do, but was no match for my prowess. After all, he inherited all of his abilities from me. I knelt over his frail body, already aroused from the brief fight that had taken place. I am very potent, you see, and it takes little to inspire passion in me. I am also very powerful and intelligent, as well as charming and seductive. Where was I…?  
  


Ah yes, Sans lay writhing in my grasp, his small bones fragile beneath my hands, so easy to snap or crush them, I thought. Or to violate him in other ways…. Of course, then G appeared, bodily forcing me from the clone I thought to so easily destroy, claiming in his grim voice that I hadn’t the right to murder his creation, as this Sans was of HIS timeline, not my own. He also made some dull points about detectives, something about maintaining relationships and suspicions. I swear the man loves the sound of his own voice.  
  


Anyway, I managed to get a good kick into the skeleton’s ribs before G pulled me away, distracting me with soft touches and promises of proper attention if we returned home. I agreed, being a reasonable and considerate monster, and left that pathetic creature sputtering in the dust, still wheezing from the immense strength of my grip around his throat.  
  
  
I realize you were all expecting some sort of “erotic” story, but frankly, sex with my own clone would be disgusting and wrong. It’s far too close to incest for my taste, and such things are unnatural at best. You’ll have to soothe your hungry minds with fantasies of how masterfully I dominated G, alone together after the incident. The hole in his tongue is so well-suited to…well, you know. It would be crude to write it in detail.


End file.
